Rants and Rambles by D-Nice

I AM

2005-09-20T10:36:00.000-07:00

going to clean my office
going to finish my classes
going to change last name legally
going to catch up on lingering work hoohaa
going to stop procrastinating
going going going gone

magic stick

2005-08-31T11:45:00.000-07:00

It has been 12 days since the magic stick with two blue lines
after a year of one liners, high hopes, sighs, and whines

A sweet jelly bean is in my belly and it isn't the fruity kind
It's the Scott & Denise DNA jumble that's always on my mind

The days go by like months until we can meet this little stinker
I feel like my heart is already theirs, hook, line & sinker

Little things are slightly different, no coffee, beer or blue cheese
and if I hear something just kinda sad, I ball and flail to my knees

So much more is going to change and I couldn't be more happy
to be suckled from my teets and change diapers full of crappy

To stroll around with friends and family giggling at the silly things
like taking a poop face, crooked smiles and widdle diddle wingy dings

Be well little teeny one and I promise to keep you safe and fed
until we meet I can just dream of you while we sleep snug in bed

With all this new love in my life, my heart is so full and thick
Thanks to my oh so hospitable uterus and my sweetys magic stick

crack bash bonkoooonnngg

2005-08-03T11:13:00.000-07:00

Hey good folks, we had a wild and wooolly storm here in AZ .. it almost knocked our house over ..seeeeee.

flash ------ crackdooorrgg bash bonkoooonnngg grrrummmmkobbleddrrooo.....

Then, I suddenly hear another crack .. crack ..crackk... but that was just the bad crackly ankle of my hubs Scooter C stumbling out of bed with squished up sleepy face.

Then I overslept until 9 ish because it looks so dark and stormaroo outside.

I checked the mail this morning and it was cool out (this time in AZ is usually 105+)!!!! I grabbed the dog & leash (even though I was wearing a scraggly tank I slept in and old wrinkly skirt I grabbed out of the dirty clothes) and took a stroll with Dixie the dog. Noone was out .. not a peep in the whole neighborhood .. I felt so free. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

New Internet Acronyms

2005-07-27T13:41:00.000-07:00

I am going to really try to make these stick on the WWW!

I am rarely really LOL ... so let's see ....

STS - smirking to self
LOI - laughing on inside
REN - rolling eyes nod
MFN - made funny noise - ex: like you read a funny and you go "mrah!" or "mbugh!" you know what I'm talking about.
MMN - made me nervous - ex: like someone writes a real emotional or dramatic something and you get nervous for them
MTS - must take shower - like something so wrong that you feel Filthy McDirty

To replace BRB

GGP - Gotta go Pee
SBM - Someone better messaged
YBM - You bore me
AAH - annoyed as hell
OCC - overbearing coworker coming

hmmmm.... I will think of more

Happy Valentine's Day!

2005-02-14T08:00:00.000-08:00

Love, exciting and new,
Come aboard.
We're expecting you.
Love, life's sweetest reward.
Let it flow,
it floats back to you.

The Love Boat
soon will be making another run.
The Love Boat promises something for everyone.
Set a course for adventure,
Your mind on a new romance.

Love won't hurt anymore
It's an open smile on a friendly shore.

It's Looooove!
Welcome aboard - It's Looooove!

(Cindy is funny)

2004-11-30T09:00:00.000-08:00

Hi, I'm Denise. I used to blog. Now I'm much too busy to be bothered with it. Oh yes, I'm so important. Please go away. Stop tempting me with your blogs. I'm really not interested. Maybe some day I'll return, if I can possibly find the time. If you're lucky, I mean. You can hold your breath, but it probably won't do any good. You cannot influence the D. I no longer live by the clock, by the calendar, by the rules. I am wild and free, I have changed my name to Coyote.

I'm the cute one on the left with the beer in my hand. This slightly drunk lady who appears to be laying on me is Cindy. She still blogs. She has nothing better to do with her time, but don't tell her I said that, ok?

See you in 2005!
Love, Coyote

farewell for a while

2004-11-07T22:04:00.000-08:00

I have to remove any distractions from my day in order to excel at my job and finish my last 10 online classes before I have to pay for them again. I will be saying howdy when I have a new title and certificate in hand. Best wishes fellow bloggers. I look forward to reading you all again in 2005. :) TTFN

It looks like I was a child left behind...but read on..

2004-11-05T09:20:00.000-08:00

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt "

Another Confusing giggle...hehehe

2004-11-03T20:46:00.000-08:00

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
There’s a dead old woman in your driveway.
There’s a dead old woman in your driveway who?
No. Seriously. There’s a dead old woman in your driveway. Actually, that’s just my piss-drunk bar slut of a grandmother. She sells toothless mouth love for “mind eraser” shooters at the Tyson’s Mall TGIFriday’s.
Let the whore sleep it off.

Let's have a giggle...join me....

2004-11-03T13:08:00.000-08:00

Knock knock

Who’s there?
Creeping penis.
Creeping penis who?
I’m not crazy, I just need to get off this island. The doctors don’t believe I invented the chocolate éclair. But I did. I’m going to burn them all and drink soup from their skulls! Happy soup! Untie me and I’ll kill you last!

Halloween Party

2004-11-02T11:28:00.000-08:00

This was our 1st Halloween party in AZ. We had about 12 people, which is everyone we know..hehe...it was a good ol' time... but I realized the costumes below may not be easy to figure out. so:

50's couple
Somara from the ring
80s chick
Larry the Cable Guy
Wife beater and abused wife
redneck mullet guy
baseball player
sexy cop
guy in headband

Pics from the Party

2004-11-01T10:38:00.000-08:00

Below are some pics from our party this weekend. :)

2004-11-01T10:37:00.000-08:00

TOTALLY 80'S

2004-11-01T10:36:00.000-08:00

DAD AND ME - SOMARA (THE RING) :)

2004-11-01T10:34:00.000-08:00

PRETTY

2004-11-01T10:24:00.000-08:00

SCARY GALS

2004-11-01T10:23:00.001-08:00

WIFE BEATER AND WIFE

2004-11-01T10:23:00.000-08:00

AHHHHH

2004-11-01T10:22:00.000-08:00

LARRY THE CABLE GUY AND MIKE

2004-11-01T10:20:00.000-08:00

SCARY KITTY...

red rover rambles

2004-10-28T14:13:00.000-07:00

red rover ... red rover ......

never eat eggs without the yolker
improve my skills at poker
let courtney love smoke her doper
send me a power broker
take my Sunday hangover
bring back re-runs of The Ropers
let the elections be over

boo!

2004-10-27T10:32:00.000-07:00

halloween, scary movies, cold beer, cold weather, funny folks, fake blood, flammable wigs, stale candy corn, al caca, little candy, punch bowls, strobe lights, glow in the dark scorpions, old bean dip, thriller, fun fun fun!!!

2004-10-26T09:25:00.000-07:00

Scott, his sister Staci & Grandma Rose at her house

85 years for the beloved G-Rose

2004-10-26T08:40:00.000-07:00

My husbands dear grandma Rose is 85 years old today! I think of her as my grandma too, she always made me feel a part of the family and now I think I am a real grandkid. :)

She is my idea of a perfect human being. Everything she does is pure of heart and with only love behind it. She cooks deliciously, is up at 6:00 a.m. gardening, keeps her house spit spot clean, makes raviolis at easter, cookies at christmas, and has a heart made of platinum and diamonds.
Some people wear those bracelets that say WWJD (what would Jesus do), instead I say WWGD (what would G-Rose do).

When we moved from CA to AZ a few years ago, we were really worried what the family would think and especially her. As it turns out as much as she said she would miss us, she would say the most comforting things so we felt less guilty. Even being 85 she seems to be able to think of the big picture and of everyone else.

I always thought when I got older, I can be as stubborn as I want to be because I will have earned it. Not Grandma Rose, she seems to get wiser and sweeter with age. We just miss her and love her so. She is my idol. Happy Birthday to Grandma Rose and many many more.

2004-10-25T23:02:00.000-07:00

I found this is my pic archives.. and cracked up.. I must have sent this to cheer someone up... well it sure made me laugh...hehehe

my first mini panic attack

2004-10-22T10:00:00.000-07:00

I had a root canal yesterday and was not at all nervous until the mini drill started zzzzzing and crunching away. My heart started pounding, my vision was all shaky, I felt closterphobic, I wanted to elbow the dentist in his perfect grill and run away. I just knew that any second I was going to feel the worst stabbing horror of pain because I was not numb enough or something.

The fact that he poked a nerve with the numb needle, and I felt like my cheek was on fire, didn't start things off swimingly. I almost told him to stop so I could take some deep breaths and collect myself. He left the room for a second and I sat up and chilled out. It was just weird because I never ever knew what a panic attack was until yesterday. I really had to talk myself down from the cliff of panic mountain.

I am embarassed that I am now a "I hate the dentist" person. Oh well, my tooth feels so much better and I don't have to take Motrin every 3 hours anymore. He was kind of cute...hmmmmm maybe I don't hate the dentist at all.... meeeooowww

I am lost!

2004-10-20T22:08:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else watch the show "Lost"? I am way into it but I don't get it! Does anyone have any theories? I also wonder why noone is sleeping on those cozy little mini pillows they have on planes. It is funny to think of how they have those same in flight magazines to read forever. They are stranded on a friggin island fighting for water and scraps all while perusing the skymall magazine looking at fuzzy ramps for little dogs to climb on the couch more easily. What a pisser! I think I want a pair of gravity defying boots for x-mas. Santa??

2004-10-20T22:07:00.000-07:00

Is it Mr. Rogers or a wierd husband??

Don't judge a game by it's cover

2004-10-19T05:58:00.001-07:00

The Game: Party 'til you puke - a game with no redeeming social values!
We got this game from Stephanie for x-mas 03. Whenever I brought it out to play when we were having a party it scared everyone and we would never play. Well, last weekend we said F it! Let' s party till we puke!!! We didn't puke but instead had oodles and noodles of fun! It has funky "dooable" dares, lots of "take a sips" and drinking orders. The object of the game is to make it through the house (layout of house on board) from the front door to the toilet without landing on such squares as:

Locked yourself in the hall closet, lose one turn
Slipped on someones puke, lose one turn
Tried to hide puke inside the oven, go back to front door
Caught puking in a first edition copy of war & puke, go back to front door
Just met a great looking person, belch in his/her face or lose one turn

Maybe you're thinking how old is she playing this childish frat game? Well I am 26 and I don't give a darn because I laughed my ass off and you should too!! When I opened the box to type in some of the square verbage I found ashes, and bottlecaps in the box. See, I told you it was a fun game .. hahaha!

2004-10-19T05:58:00.000-07:00

Drink till we puke! Scott & Stephanie

Fun times

2004-10-18T09:00:00.000-07:00

This weekend when Stephanie came to visit, we had as awesome time:

Made a delicious dinner despite the urge to just forget it and drink beer for dinner
Played the game "Drink till you puke" . Did a bunch of funky dares and took tons of funny pictures (which I will be posting throughout the week)
Played mini pooland I mini lost when I scratched on the mini 8 ball
Did a photoshoot with my crazy wig & hat collection
went to bed - woke up
Made pancakes & eggs for breakfast
Made Chicken pasta salad and artichokes for lunch
Saw Friday Night Lights at the picture show.. good movie..
Went to Victorias Secret, they are have a buy 7 lotion, sprays, scrubs etc. for $35 and also get a free body scrub. So that is a steal! I stocked up on Love Spell, Strawberries & Champagne and Pear Glace for old times sake.
Rented Soul Train..hehehe.. what a goofball movie, but pretty funny
Ordered Pizza and ate candy
Laughed, talked and just had a nice time visiting :)

Thanks for coming Steph it was a blast, talk to you soon :) Love ya!

2004-10-17T21:39:00.000-07:00

Scott, me and Steph, after the 9 beers and 5 shots.. gotta love the drunken party hats :)

Scottinese

2004-10-15T10:09:00.000-07:00

hahaha.. I was just singing that "how far is heaven song" to Scott (hubby) and he says "stop singing los limus boys" and that reminded me of all the words he got wrong over the years and I don't correct him because it is funny and he's so handsome:

shall = shaw
orange = oranch
Our friends baby Gabriel = George
Aloe Vera = Aloy Vera
Dinty Moore Stew = Demi Moore Stew
Panda Express = Panda Bear

I know he has more but that is all I can think of. I think 1/2 the time he does it on purpose to make me laugh but either way I love it.

Hangin with my fam

2004-10-14T20:18:00.000-07:00

My sister is coming to AZ this weekend to hang out and visit with us. I am looking forward to some belly laughs and grub sessions. My mom, her and myself are all very different and crazy in our own special way but when we get together we have fun laughing and seeing the familar smile we all share on our face. I am sure come Monday I will have a pic and a tale to tell. The below pic was Christmas dinner a couple years ago.. it was simply delicious. I think she should take over domestic divaness since Martha is Chewing on steel...hehehe

2004-10-14T20:17:00.000-07:00

Martha ... I mean my sis Stephanie

Roomies

2004-10-13T13:58:00.000-07:00

We got our 1 1/2 year old beta fish Ralphy a roommate, Bon Jovi, he is metallic and looks like a rocker. We had to get a special tank that has a divider because beta fish (aka Japanese fighting fish) will kill each other. This tank is cool because you can lift up the colored divider and only the clear divider remains so they puff up and get all angry and fluffy. I really enjoy all my fish, when our first beta, Rosario, passed away I held a candle as we flushed her to the other side. We have a 10 gallon tank that holds, Butters, Spaz and Alvin and you can kind of see their pad on the far right of the pic. :)
PS: If you look to the far left you see Scott walking around in his boxers..hehehe

2004-10-13T13:57:00.000-07:00

Bon Jovi & Ralphy

Food is Love

2004-10-13T11:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my cats (Phoebe & Jacky) were running around meowing and fighting all because their crunchies were gone and they were hungry and grumpy. My Dog (Dixie) was begging and being so annoying because she also had no food to fill her bowl. My husband kept reminding me of the Top Ramen he was forced to eat and how all he had in his lunch was stale cheeze its and a granola bar. So I finally got to the grocery last night and brought home food for everyone. I filled up bowls of crunchies, kibble and golden grahams and I swear the house was singing with happiness. The cats were rubbing all over me, Dixie was sleeping with a smile on her face and my hubby was on his 3rd bowl of cereal just happy as could be. Oh dear :)

Bi-partisan Movie Rentals

2004-10-10T13:56:00.000-07:00

We went to Hollywood video and rented two movies telling both sides. It was very interesting, I highly recommend it. The race for president is SPANDEX tight! Vote or DIE!!!! hehehe ... P-Diddy scares the crap out of me .....
Fahrenheit 9/11
Fahrenhype 9/11

Weddings

2004-10-09T11:48:00.000-07:00

I was just chatting with a friend about weddings and since I have been in three this last year (pics below) they have been a big part of my life. After chatting I came the this conclusion, Weddings:
Bring together freinds & family
Can bring out the weird in some people
Make little girls want to be a gorgeous bride someday
Make some single people hopeful for their turn
Make already married couples rekindle the warm fuzzy love & memories from their day
Make the parents cry with happiness as they watch thier cubs all grown up
Make older folks remember the good old days
Make the bridesmaids want to hit the bar, food and take those shoes off (me totally)
Make the "couple to be "want to go on their honeymoom and do it..do it..do it..
Weddings are so many things for everyone and even with all the fandango it takes to have the big day, ya gotta love em! I love ... love...
I am having having a corny moment... hope everyone is having a good weekend!

2004-10-09T11:46:00.000-07:00

Jen & Geoffs wedding last weekend :)

2004-10-09T11:32:00.000-07:00

Staci (my cool sister on law) & Johns wedding in July

2004-10-09T11:30:00.000-07:00

Ellen, Tomo & Tysons Wedding in May

2004-10-09T11:29:00.000-07:00

Our Wedding ...awww... June 2002 (I had slim picking on digi pics and was to lazy to scan the real ones..)

2004-10-07T18:45:00.000-07:00

Dahber (on top) and our dog Dixie playing long time

2004-10-07T18:16:00.000-07:00

hubby with the kids... aww minus the orange kitty Phoebe and the fish

2004-10-07T18:06:00.000-07:00

Dahber's (our doggy houseguest) latest victim..he.he..he

Ceiva!!

2004-10-07T16:03:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to devote a post to the awesome new gadget called "Ceiva"we got it for his folks in CA. Since my hubby and I live in AZ, they don't get to see the everyday goings on with us. It is a digital frame that plugs into a phone line and allows family and friends to send pictures directly to the frame for the frame owner to enjoy. Below are some examples of the pics we send. I recommend this for anyone with loved ones far away. It is really cool and makes being far away a little easier. Go get one now!

We are dog sitting for our newlywed friends in Tahiti and the doggy destroys all toys in his power, so we send pics of each one of his victims of the day (little chick with stuffing all over, cat toys with bellys missing).
Pics of the new faucet my guy, their son, installed
Pics of "China Pie" dinner I cooked (his moms good ol' recipe)
Pics of weddings and family events from the last years
Pics of the cats and dogs playing all delicious
Pics of them from their past visits so maybe they will visit again soon :)

woowee

2004-10-05T17:08:00.000-07:00

I totally accomplished a bunch of todo's that were getting me down (see last blog entry). I get so everwhelmed with things I need to do, that I get in a funk and cannot seem to do a damn thing. Today I just said, I am going to one thing and then once I got started I kept going. I have to remember this the next time I got funk. It also helps when you have a cool new CD your fwend made you and you rock out while taking care of biz.....thanks fwend :)

lalala...we're in fast car...cross the border and into the city.....dodedodo

got funk?

2004-10-05T11:03:00.000-07:00

Feeling kinda funky....
can't even laugh at a monkey....
feeling sorry for myself with no shame
whining is lame
gotta work, clean, move, and never stop
but my bed is where I want to flop
snap out of it, drink some coffee, get some sun
I know I will feel better when I am all done
fucko..fucko...fucko...

Good Quote!

2004-09-28T14:13:00.000-07:00

Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.

Old Slang is The Most!

2004-09-28T11:45:00.000-07:00

Fridge - Icebox
Movie Theatre - Picture Show
Drunk - blotto
Pack of cigarettes - hope chest
Bar - juice joint or speakeasy
liberal - pinko
The Shakes - screaming meemies
Have a drink - Bend an elbow
real tough guy, dangerous man - Curly wolf
Big party with lots of dancing and excitement. - Fandango
Jail - Hoosegow
Child - Ankle-biter
Really funny - Big Tickle
A great thing or place; Happy - Fat City

more cool sayings... from this "old jazz slang site" and Old West Slang and 50s slang

"I have to go see a man about a dog."
"I've got to leave now," often meaning to go buy whiskey.
"Now you're on the trolley!"
Now you've got it, now you're right.
"putting on the ritz"
after the Ritz Hotel in Paris; doing something in high style.
Shoot, Luke, or give up the gun
shit or get off the pot, do it or quit talking about it.
What's buzzin, cuzzin
What's new?

Here is a sample usage:

What's buzzin, cuzzin?? You cats are realling putting on the ritz! Wedding showers are always a big tickle!! Before the fandango we have to make sure we go see a man about a dog and get me a hope chest. I hope to bend an elbow and get real blotto, that would be fat city! "Now you're on the trolley!"

be kind to eachother....

2004-09-27T10:58:00.000-07:00

When I am a mommy of two or four I am going to tell them that every morning...
.... random thought of the day ....

Bumpin'

2004-09-27T10:06:00.000-07:00

When I was in high school I use to have a whole big speaker system in my car and beat out all kinds of hip hop, rock or whatever my ears loved. It brought me so much joy to hear my fave tunes so loud and clear. As I have gotten older and changed cars a few times I never really had another good system like that again. I thought to myself, I am older now and do not need to be thumping down my neighborhood...hum..drum..boring me.

Well, yesterday our friend Mickey put it my old system in our Jeep and we are so beating out!! My hubby does not even like rap/r&b so much but he likes to hear it bump now! :) It is such a treat to get in your car and feel like you are up at the club :) I wanted to give a big blog thank you to Mickey for bringing back a little peice of my fun old coming of age self! I love it!!

Little Seizure

2004-09-21T22:55:00.000-07:00

My dog, Dixie (click here to see pic), had her 2nd seizure today! We've had her over two years and this is the second time it has happened. It is so sad, she walked into my office, flops down next to my chair, paddling her feet, her body shaking and her big brown eyes look so scared. All I can do is pet her tell her she is a good girl. Even through her whole body seizing, I can tell she still likes to get her butt scratched, she kind if lifted her leg when I scratched her..hehe. It passed after a couple minutes and she was her sweet, gentle self again prancing all about the place. I sometimes forget how needy dogs are compared to cats. When my cats get sick they hide and want to be alone, but dogs want comfort from their person. I really felt like her mommy, she totally came in here to get help. This whole "dog love" is still new to me, I was not a fan of dogs at ALL until we got her and it still suprises me how they love us humans so doggon' much :)

Random Note 1: Did anyone see John Travolta crying his ass off on Oprah yesterday... hhoooaa... I dig his movies, but that was hard to watch... wah..wah...

Random Note 2: Jon Stewart was on some show and talking about John Edwards (John Kerry's VP candidate...young innocent looking fellow) and Jon Stewart said

"I feel so bad for John Edwards, he is so fresh and new and the political machine is going to chew him up and spit him out... I just wanna say, stay gold pony boy!"..hehehe.. I thought Cindy Lou... would like that one.

I Am Now One of Those People

2004-09-17T13:21:00.000-07:00

Do you ever wonder who those freaks are who write in to TV shows with complaints or grievances? I used to wonder that same thing, and now I am one of those people!!!

I was so upset with the 60 Minutes/MemoGate controversy I actually e-mailed the show!!!

I am half embarassed but it did make me feel better... I feel so strange about it. Bloggers Revolt!!

New Phrase / Conan / Jive

2004-09-16T23:36:00.000-07:00

Crop-Dusting: When you walk and blow ass (fart) and just let it trail behind.... hehe

Conan O'Brian is 100% always on point to my sense of humor. Every comment, gesture, face, dance, and mumble is scary, bone chillingly funny....keep cool my babies....hugh??... meow..hiss...preparation H man....masturbating bear.... gotta love the Cone Dog!

I used to play with this thing called The Dialectizer this a few years ago and I found it again!

You type regular text, choose your dialect of choice (jive, redneck, hacker, moron), press a button and it will translate it. Below is an exerpt of Martha Stewart bloviating at her press conference, but in jive speak.

"I's gots'ta be real sad knowin' ah' gots'ta miss de holiday season," Ms. Stewart said at some hastily called news conference, tickin' off Halloween, Danksgivin' and Christmas as celebrashuns she gots'ta t'observe behind bars. "And ah' gots'ta miss all uh my pets - mah' two beloved, fun-lovin' dogs, mah' seven lively cats, mah' kinaries, mah' ho'ses and even mah' chickens. It's odd whut becomes uh immense impo'tance when one realizes one's freedom be about t'be curtailed."

Picture This Y'all

2004-09-15T10:55:00.000-07:00

This whole last week I have switched my obsession from blogging to my personal photo collection. I have been organizing, (friends, my family, his family, our little family) getting reprints, albuming, and framing my ass off. I am in love with my pictures! It is so satisfying to put an album together from early photos to recent photos and see how great my life was and is! That saying is so true, "you can't see the forest from the trees". I can talk about past times and reminisce and love the memories but when I see photos it just takes me to that place (literally) .. hehe. In some ways it makes me nostalgic for friends that are in pics that are no longer close, but then also so heartwarmed to see friends who have been in almost every single pic, past and present.

I urge everyone to get out their pics today, put them in frames, put them in albums and take a good look at all the great times in your life. .... NOW

I remember this quote from Just Married with Ashton Kutcher & Britney Murphy and his dad says "photo albums only show the good times". That is so true but I think that is how our human mind works anyway. As time goes on the good memories take over the bad ones. It would be so funny if we took pictures at funerals, hospital recovery rooms, or in the middle of fights.

Another fun thing is to see pictures of yourself at a party or on vacation that you don't quite recall yourself because you were buzzed or what not. That is awesome because it is a memory you would not have if it wasn't for that darn picture. Or when you see a picture of a lame ass party and everyone looks all hella fun… like…bored….humdrum…..glare… whistle….(say cheese)….yeah!…hahahah!…happy…fun….. CHEESE!….woohooo! …. (flash)…. whistle…. bored….. humdrum

Some Hollywood Tidbits

2004-09-14T11:56:00.000-07:00

NEWS IN BRIEF - E ONLINE

YEE-HAW! Jessica Simpson officially cast as Daisy Duke in a big-screen version of TV's The Dukes of Hazzard, according to the Hollywood Reporter. Seann William Scott and Johnny Knoxville will play Bo and Luke Duke respectively.

I totally will go see that! I wonder who is goint to play Rosco, Flash and Boss Hog...hmmm I think Rosco should be George Bush, Boss hog should be Ted Kennedy and Flash should be Paris's dog tinkerbell..... yeah that's the ticket

SAY THAT AGAIN: "You're Fired!" "Mess O' Potamia," "Girlie Men," and "wardrobe malfunction," topping the list of television's favorite buzzword phrases issued for the 2003-2004 season by Global Language Monitor, a group which keeps track of word use.

I also like "love's it" and "that's hot" coined by Paris & Nicole

13 things about me - right now!

2004-09-10T11:46:00.000-07:00

1) I have not showered yet
2) I am hungry
3) My upper back is sore
4) My hair looks like Charlize in "Monster" ...so hot!...
5) My hubbys off work today playing MS Flight Simulator with headphones on...heheheheha
6) Our dog has no food
7) I am on low ovulation
8) We are waiting to hear back about a home equity line of credit
9) It is 100 degrees in good ol' AZ ... swamp ass factor of 3
10) The "lil homie" dolls on my desk got all messed up from my cat playing with them
11) I am watching FOX news
12) I am still beside myself after watching this so sad HBO documentary on Chernobyl
13) I also can't wait until the next apprentice episode ... the Donald is so peculiar

...after reading my own post I sound like an unemployed slob... I work from home for a company doing graphic design and boring tech drawings... I am pretty slobbish though... :) so kidding ... I am smokin' hot 24/7!

Karma & Limerick

2004-09-09T11:59:00.000-07:00

What goes around comes around. I totally 100% beleive in this.
That rude person on Cindy-Lou's blog is due for some major trips, falls, traffic violations, and bank fees.....

This is a poem I came across with Anonymous in mind ....

There was a young man from Belgrade
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
He said "I admit
I'm a bit of a shit
But think of the money I save!"

The Biggest Myth - BUSTED

2004-09-07T13:16:00.000-07:00

You CAN bring food and drinks (no glass) into the movie theatre! All these years I went to extreme lengths to sneak candy and bottles of soda under my shirt, down my pants, and stuffed in my purse. My mom used to sneak hot dogs (from home), bags of popped corn (from home), and a six back of beer into the movies. We must have looked like so odd bringing giant luggage sized bags in to see Rocky. Well yesterday we go to the picture show and my friends fiance' says he goes in with bags of goodies and sacks of McDonalds all the time! So I was still nervous and stuffed our Candy in my purse but I held our waters with confidence and fearlessness and we got in!! I love this country!

Homies on the block again....

2004-09-03T11:54:00.000-07:00

I am just re-posting this... because I am so amused by myself...TGIF !!!! Rollin'on dubs.....& stuff....

I was inspired by blogs about homies and that funny ass cat blog by Dane. Click on this link to check out my creation ... my husband accused me of having too much free time.. whatev..

http://www.geocities.com/dkcorreia/homies.htm

A song with some tips for the ladies

2004-09-02T15:33:00.000-07:00

These song lyryics are hilarious and... like a "how to" of sorts..... hehe
... I think she is telling how to do it doggy style??? what do you think???

Christina Milian f/ Fabolous
Title : Dip It Low

You're gettin' bold, he's growin' cold
It's just the symptoms of young love growin' old
You think it's done
Then you're thinkin' of leavin', but give it time

It's late at night, he's comin' home
Meet him at the door with nothin' on
Take him by the hand, let him know what's on
If you understand me up and move

All my ladies wind it up
If you know just how to move (Ooh...hoo...hoo...)
All my fellas jump behind
And show her what you wanna do

Dip it low, pick it up slow (Oh)
Roll it all around, poke it out, let your back roll
Pop, pop, pop that thang
I'mma show you how to make your man say, "Oh"

"Yeah, uhYeah, uhBaby girl,
I want you to pop, pop, pop that thang
I might stop to shop and cop you things
You know I drop the top and hop that thang

Sometimes I stop my bop to pop my thing
You sure know how to make a man say, "Oh"
And how in the world can a man say, "No"
When you wind it up on a wall, wind it up like a doll
And you know I'm Bacardi, lime it up till you fall
Haul it up till you fall
And have those other chicks throwin' vomit up
When they can't find it up in the mall

Like most men I love to catch up with a model
But I ain't used to movin' slow like ketchup in abottle
And the best things come to those who wait for it
But I'mma be straight for before it's too late for it
I want you to Dip it low, pick it up slow
Roll it all around, poke it out and make me say, "Oh"

Decor tip I have needed for years!!

2004-09-02T14:42:00.000-07:00

Go for a picture or a group of pictures that covers no more than two-thirds of the object over which it hangs.

Make sure that a picture, tapestry or group of pictures fills at least half of the wall space above a piece of furniture.

Art should be hung about twelve inches higher than a piece of furniture.

Homies on the Block

2004-09-01T15:11:00.000-07:00

I was inspired by blogs about homies and that funny ass cat blog by Dane.

Click on this link to check out my creation ... my husband accused me of having too much free time.. whatev..

http://www.geocities.com/dkcorreia/homies.htm

Good ol' "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handey

2004-09-01T08:26:00.000-07:00

I actually have some of these quotes printed against a green background and framed in our guest room. hehehe... I want his mind for my own...

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex. - Jack Handey (aka Jack Handy)

As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch for Rocks." Marta said it should read "Watch for Pretty Rocks." I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke - just to get out of writing a simple letter! And I thought I was lazy! - Jack Handey (aka Jack Handy)

If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine. - Jack Handey (aka Jack Handy)

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it. - Jack Handey (aka Jack Handy)

Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up. - Jack Handey (aka Jack Handy)

For more deep thoughts .. click here...
http://web.archive.org/web/20021017021255/www.hutchville.com/jack_handey.shtml

Square Dancing Patty Cake Patriots

2004-08-31T11:38:00.000-07:00

This was the funniest!!
So, on C-span you can see the entire Republican convention start to finish with no commentary or anything in the way. Well, they flash the audience and all people hooting it up and they focus in on this one old couple in their 60s .. this is how it went down.

The couple is facing each other shaking their hips and arms in the aisle wearing matching flag themed square dancing outfits (I think) and they notice they are on camera....
(oh dear... we gonna be on the picture box)
They get all flustered and excited and start dancing a little wilder and more animated, all the while, side eye-balling the camera...
(yippeee hunny..let's show em')
They suddenly incorporate some kind of patty cake clapping moves into the routine
(hugh?)..down by the banks of the hanky panky.. where the bull frogs jump from bank to bank..
The old man does not seem to know this clap sequence and they keep missing and hitting each other...
(help)
Instead of stopping, they furiously try to get in synch and flail their hands faster and faster.
(slap, clap, flip, thump...whack)
Hands are randomly hitting and missing violently and their heads are pulled back in fear of being smacked.. and then ......
cut to the Ohio delegation... thank goodness... I was crying with laughter and almost lost my bladder control...it was great

RNC: I know .. I know.. but I had to share

2004-08-31T10:04:00.000-07:00

This is the best explanation on the war on terra (as Bushy says) I have heard yet... I totally don't want to spark a debate, I think it is just good info... I promise I won't make a habit of this... hehehe

Excerpt of Rudy Giuliani's Speech last night at the convention

Terrorism did not start on September 11, 2001. It had been festering for many years.
And the world had created a response to it that allowed it to succeed. The attack on the Israeli team at the Munich Olympics was in 1972. And the pattern had already begun.
The three surviving terrorists were arrested and within two months released by the German government.
Action like this became the rule, not the exception. Terrorists came to learn they could attack and often not face consequences.
In 1985, terrorists attacked the Achille Lauro and murdered an American citizen who was in a wheelchair, Leon Klinghoffer.
They marked him for murder solely because he was Jewish.
Some of those terrorist were released and some of the remaining terrorists allowed to escape by the Italian government because of fear of reprisals.
So terrorists learned they could intimidate the world community and too often the response, particularly in Europe, was "accommodation, appeasement and compromise."
And worse the terrorists also learned that their cause would be taken more seriously, almost in direct proportion to the barbarity of the attack.
Terrorist acts became a ticket to the international bargaining table.
How else to explain Yasser Arafat winning the Nobel Peace Prize when he was supporting a terrorist plague in the Middle East that undermined any chance of peace?
Before September 11, we were living with an unrealistic view of the world much like our observing Europe appease Hitler or trying to accommodate ourselves to peaceful co-existence with the Soviet Union through mutually assured destruction.
---
In any plan to destroy global terrorism, removing Saddam Hussein needed to be accomplished.
Frankly, I believed then and I believe now that Saddam Hussein, who supported global terrorism, slaughtered hundreds of thousands of his own people, permitted horrific atrocities against women, and used weapons of mass destruction, was himself a weapon of mass destruction.
But the reasons for removing Saddam Hussein were based on issues even broader than just the presence of weapons of mass destruction.
To liberate people, give them a chance for accountable, decent government and rid the world of a pillar of support for global terrorism is something for which all those involved from President Bush to the brave men and women of our armed forces should be proud.
President Bush has also focused on the correct long-term answer for the violence and hatred emerging from the Middle East. The hatred and anger in the Middle East arises from the lack of accountable governments.
Rather than trying to grant more freedom, create more income, improve education and basic health care, these governments deflect their own failures by pointing to America and Israel and other external scapegoats.
But blaming these scapegoats does not improve the life of a single person in the Arab world. It does not relieve the plight of even one woman in Iran.
It does not give a decent living to a single soul in Syria. It certainly does not stop the slaughter of African Christians in the Sudan.
The changes necessary in the Middle East involve encouraging accountable, lawful governments that can be role models.

Bruce Willis & P-Diddy? VMA List

2004-08-30T01:36:00.000-07:00

So tonight on the VMA's P-Diddy and Bruce Willis were all palsin' around and last year I beleive it was him and Ashton all buddy buddy. What is that about? Does Puff have some obsession with guys who have porked Demi? So odd.

What I loved about the VMAs

Lil John
Beyonces fluffy mane
Vote or die? (what does that really mean...like really...die?...come on now..)
P-diddys "fro-hawk", (like a 1/2 inch Mr. T look)
What up B? What up J? .. so sly
Usher and all his confessions
hey hey.. hey ya... 2004 the year of the "hey"
to the window....to the wall... till the sweat drip down my balls...skeet...skeet...skeet...
Alicia Keyes at the keys..... some people want it all...... if I aint got you...love it!
Jessica Simpsons breathy, lip curl, o's sounding like a's disorder
LL cool Js TV chested ladies
Those people in the rainbow robes looking like David Koresh & the gang resurrected
Hoobastank sounding really bad
Nelly and Christina A.... not that cool.."On the pre-show she said "we are doing like 20s, kind of 40s, 50s thing, it's gonna be hot"...hehehe
Love Andre 3000's bare chest & bow tie
Mathew Lillard cruising the crowd in a raft... he is hot kinda
I can't get enough ... I need to go to bed

How To Be Annoying At A Funeral

2004-08-26T23:02:00.000-07:00

Dark sense of humored folks read on..
..... if you are not, ignore this post..
..... i don't want to hear it.....

- Punch the body and tell people that he hit you first.
- Ask someone to take a snapshot of you shaking hands with the deceased.
- Walk around telling people that the deceased didn't like them.
- Goose the widow as she bends over to throw dirt on the coffin.
- Ask the widow for money which the deceased owes you.
- At the cemetery take bets on how long it takes a body to decompose.
- Toss a handful of cooked rice on the deceased and scream "MAGGOTS! MAGGOTS!" and pretend to faint.
- Take up a collection to pay off the deceased's gambling debts.
- Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.
- Leave some phony dog poop on top of the deceased.
- Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.

--- found on www.bored.com

What I like / What I do not like so much

2004-08-25T23:05:00.000-07:00

I am taking a blog out of cindy-lou's .. blog.. and making a list of my own...

What I like

- Snuggling on the couch on a cloudy day eating beef stew
- Laughing so hard I get the most dreadful ache in my belly and squirt pee out
- Bantering with a freind about nothingness and noone gets it but the two of you
- Standing on my kitchen stool and hugging my tall hubby real good
- Sticking my face in my kitties soft belly after they have napping and they smell all moist-like
- Reminiscing about every little thing
- Being so politically incorrect I almost offend myself
- Ovulating
- Politics and political humor
- Cinammon chips
- Grape soda (only on special occasions)
- A cig after taking a shot
- Watching Lifetime movies all day in bed
- Seeing a really scary movie at the picture show
- Any tour type thing when on vacation
- Getting home after walking the dog and feeling all healthy for that moment (wish I did that more)
- flip flops
- Shaking my tail feather all about the place
- Poeple falling down
- I have have more but those are good for now..

What I do not like so much

- Untrained dogs that jump, bark, and pee
- Lectures
- Burnt chicken
- Most movies with accents, or bad colors like westerns or mid-evil kinds ....yuck
- Tv at 1:00 a.m.
- Not saying something you wish you did or saying something you wish you didn't
- Chewing Tobacco
- Negative attitudes
- Doing dishes
- Elitist, self righteous, smug, blowhards
- Driving with people in the car, especially people who are not patient and mind getting lost a few times now and then.. sheesh
- People being sly and saying things without really saying them (only I can do that..hehehe)
- Drunken remorse
- Hyprocacy
- Having to pee when you are sleeping all delicious
- Threading a needle
- People who dye their pets fur!
- Guilt trips
- Unflattering Pics
- Stink

Weird ass dream!

2004-08-25T10:15:00.000-07:00

So I am a small boy in this dream and it feels familiar, like I have had this one before or saw it in a movie. I am playing hide and seek with some kids and end up in this old building. I know in my head a bad man is here but I am calling for my freinds for some safety but they don't come and as I turn the corner, the bad man is waiting, it is Cuba Gooding Jr. as Radio! I am scared crapless and starting running down halls, through doors, stairs and he catches me and though I don't feel anything or remember any details I am left knowing he did the bad thing in the wrong place. I woke up to pee after that, but I felt violated and will NEVER look at Cuba Gooding the same! Perv!

9 disposable cameras piled on my desk

2004-08-24T12:06:00.000-07:00

I have photo documentation of the last two years of my life sitting in my desk. I am going to develop them this weekend (after pay day, since I have 3.75 in my bank after Vegas). I am so excited to see what I have been up to!!!!

I love pictures so much for the following reasons

- Sometimes they make events look funner than they were.
- Those funny things going on behind the pose, like nose picking, falling, and arms flailing
- Looking at pics of yourelf that you have no recolection of
- Catching people looking at eacother with scowl, rolled eyes, and duh faces
- Hanging them in frames is a pure delight

Vegas- 2 tired to write like a human

2004-08-23T11:30:00.000-07:00

Bachlorette Party in a few words ---

hotel room, bar, wheel of fortune, spin, 30 quarters, big whoop, bar, smoke, freinds!, hi, bar, slots, bust, hairspray, irons, makeup, perfume, phones, monoral, stratosphere, bachlorette, veil, condoms, gold, freinds! hi! liquor, games, freind!, hi!, dinner, loud, beer, great, 10 guys, cheek kissing, spanking, embarassed bachlorette (jen), woo woo shot, lightening, hot, rain, cab, little town... it's a quiet village, singing, strippers, hairless, sweat, silk hardness slapping cheeks, flash, flash, money, legs spread, stage, laughing, red cheeks, flash, flash, flash, laughter, horny, funny, flash, spanking, all done, kinda gross, limo!, what the?, beach, club, weird old guy, dancing, tums, shot, pepto, beer, nausea (b-jen), fog, toilet papers, lots and lots, why?, van, floor, nausea (b-jen), excedrin, bar, beer, dance floor, pole, usher, swinging, pole, weee, turns, run and swing, pole, funny, butt rub, awesome, great, bare feet, indian black foot, beer, nickel slots, swiss skin box, lauging, pepto nausea (b-jen), beer, military guys, politics, boston, florida, fun, drink talk, rambling, slur, blisters, bye, cab, home, room, shower, sleep..... ahhhh

Vegas, City of Sin or Utopia

2004-08-19T12:01:00.000-07:00

So I am all packed (kind of) and ready to go to Vegas and I started thinking about the City of Sin and how some strange powers are definately at work. I mean, what makes me not spend $4.50 on name brand cereal, because that is a rip, and shove $50 into a machine for 5 minutes of pushing a button. Also when people look tacky, loud, slutty, and silly in Vegas, that rocks, but in Peoria Arizona, they nasty. You can walk around with a beer, drink in a taxi (because you never drive in Vegas)....bars, food, and clubs never close.

So to sum it up, I live in the moment, do not judge so harsh, walk around with a buzz in a town where cabs will take you anywhere, eat..drink..dance and anytime my heart wants.

City of sin? I think not.

Utopia: a place of ideal perfection especially in laws, government, and social conditions
Sin: an action that is or is felt to be highly reprehensible

My Oprah-ish Diatribe ....

2004-08-18T12:17:00.000-07:00

I had an "ah ha" moment of realization yesterday. I always would say I don't care what people think and blah blah, but I totally did.. too much.. about most things.

I actually soaked it in yesterday what that means to really not care. It means, that you like yourself and are confident enough in what you believe in or whatever to not worry about what others think or what judgments may be cast. The people that I care most about would never stop caring about me just because I'm not perfect or they don't agree (totally rhymed). I don't know why it all clicked last night, probably watching a few episodes of Oprah I Tivo'd or all these deep thoughtful blogs going around. I mean life will be so much easier to just let go of pointless worry and concern and just live and be cool. I think that if you just be the natural you with no issues, hang-ups or defenses ruling your thoughts, interactions and reactions, you will be content, an easy person to be around and can enjoy the people in your life more. That means you love yourself, people love you and your world is a nice place to be.

This also sort of falls in line with my hang-up of worrying about everything around me and trying to fix and basically interfere to try to make things better. All this effort I now realize is futile and is like sharing a 5th of vodka with 5 people, no one gets drunk. You have to just concentrate on you and yours to have a quality balance. Now these fanciful realizations are going to take practice but I think I finally got a taste of how cool it would be to not care so much.

side note: I don't think we should all go around spouting off, being rude and acting a fool because we don't care what people think. I think that nonsense is a result of issues, hang-ups and life's collection of bull-sh**. So be cool fools!

Atrophy

2004-08-17T10:42:00.000-07:00

My blogging muscle almost atrophied. Shoot ... without a steady stream of new posts and feedback on blogger I was stunted. I got a boost now that I am working it out agin.. thank goodness you guys are back. :)

That is probably what happened to all my muscles. I need to work out! How come in my head I want to work out so bad and I envision myself someday a fit, svelt, beauty but in reality I watch hours of tv, sit around, and make excuses? I am thinking of ordering some hypnotist tapes from the internet. Does anyone in blogger world enjoy exercise? Tell me how!

M.I.A.

2004-08-16T18:19:00.000-07:00

Oh where, oh where has my little D gone? Oh where, oh where can she be? With her hair cut short, and her (nothing works here) cut long, oh where, oh where can she be?

One Liners

2004-08-12T13:52:00.000-07:00

My hubby and I are trying to get pregnant and as much as I thought I might have been preggers I keep getting one liner pregnancy tests. We have only been trying for 1 month so I have lots of hope but I am going have to start selling our things on ebay to afford all these prego tests I keep taking (four so far).

hehehehe..some funny ones

- That guy had such a big package I almost signed for it
- Take my advice; I don't use it anyway
- A procrastinator's work is never done
- Leftists are among the first to speak of their rights
- I'm an apathetic sociopath - I'd kill you if I cared

I Am So Nosy!

2004-08-09T23:23:00.000-07:00

So what is new? I inquire
The latest gossip I require
I want details, what, when, why
Not to spread but just to pry
I am as curious as the dead cat
"shut up!", "who said that?"
"then what?", "what did they say?"
"he peed where?" "How was your day?
tell me....please... anything you know...
like a whore needs crack, I need info!!
I would die without the lastest news!
"She needs a life" some may accuse
Some may wonder "why does she care?"
"Is her inner soul that empty and bare?"
"Is it that her life is so mundane and bleak?"
Hey, Mind your own business you nosy freaks!!

Nightmares, anyone?

2004-08-09T22:09:00.000-07:00

We can all thank Krissy for this horrific image. So sad when your favorite pop-icon of times past becomes a troll. And he was so cool in the Billy Jean video. Sleep well, everyone.

2004-08-09T12:46:00.000-07:00

Birthday GIrl!

Happy B-day Stepha-ne-ne

2004-08-09T12:43:00.000-07:00

Stephanie is my sister who's b-day was yesterday! Join me in wishing her next year of life be the best ever!
I have wrote a little ditty....
Happy birthday to my fun, funky fresh sista Steph
I hope this year brings all good things you deserve, mos def!
flail around town shakin' your booty ,to the right, to the lef
The fellas will be fighting so bad over you ,you'll need a ref
I love you long time Steph, you're simply the bef!

hoooottyyyyhoooooooo!

How does this make you feel?

2004-08-07T19:46:00.000-07:00

Kind of puts a damper on my day at the beach, huh?
Shelby sent me this little bit of sunshine yesterday. I think it's an exaggeration though, there's no way that whale spews 400 gallons. It's big, but not that big. I'd venture to guess...what, 20 gallons? I'm no scientist here, but I know sperm. (No, I don't really, but I've never had the occasion to say "I know sperm" until now)

I Need Some New Cliches

2004-08-06T09:41:00.000-07:00

TGIF!
Tonight we are going to see The Village with friends and go eat at Mongolian Palace (Noodles: below). I love Fridays they are so full of hope and promise of fun and splendor. Hope you all have a marvelous weekend :)
----------------------------
Cliches
In talking too all my friends and loved ones with all the many woes of life, I find myself saying things like "the grass is always greener", "time will tell", "Can't win em' all", "do unto others", "it's five o'clock somehwere" and soon and soforth. So many other re-occuring incidents of life deserve some catchy sayings as well. Here are a few I have been tossing around......

Saying: At least he doesn't beat you or snort heroin (coined by my mom)
Meaning: When you are feeling bad about your situation with your man (or woman), you can always use this uplifting saying to make you feel just a little better.
Saying: Don't discuss, politics, religion, money, fake christmas trees, Arizona, or low carb diets in mixed company
Meaning: This is just some solid advice if you want to avoid sparking heated debates
Saying: At least you weren't as drunk as (insert name) that time at (insert place)
Meaning: A way to console someone after a regretful night of drinking like a lush and acting a fool
Anymore?

Joint Bloggers

2004-08-05T16:49:00.000-07:00

Brought to you by MGD

This is a picture of the two bloggers you are currently reading. You can guess who's who I suppose. I wasn't sure I could use BloggerBot to post to this blog, but as you can see, I succeeded. Here's to the exciting new adventure we are embarking upon today. Blog away!

Noodles & Vegas

2004-08-05T10:33:00.000-07:00

Noodles
When I ask my husband what he wants for dinner he always wants noodles from Mongolian Palace. I started thinking about the big deal with noodles, they are basically starch pods waiting to be inhabited by the nearest flavored sauce. Ya know, people are alot like noodles. Be sure to surround yourself with delicious and fresh ingredients or you end up bland, boring and tasteless.

Vegas
Why when you are on a plane to Las Vegas people feel it necessary to yell out "Vegas!...Vegas Baby!". We are all on the same airplane, I know your destination genius. I doubt this happens on flights to Delaware.